Everyone seems to have a list about themselves, so I thought, “Why not share some of my specializes with the all of you? You deserve to have a little sunshine in your bleak lives.” However, in the interest of keeping your jealousy down to a minimum, I will only share a few morsels of Craziness.
- You know that cologne of perfume that you or [men, insert appropriate term] – (your wife/your girlfriend/your significant other/your mother/that person you are stalking)- wear(s) that smells so good. Well, that is what I smell like all the time. It is my natural scent. I don’t have body odor, I have body aroma. I just smell that good. In fact, that cologne or perfume you like, it is actually essence of me. That’s right, I bottle my own natural scent and share it with others, because I hate to be stingy.
- I am the smartest person who has ever lived. Socrates, Aristotle, DaVinci, Einstein; they had nothing on me. Their brilliance is but a dull glimmer compared to the blindly glare of my genius. I am so smart that I wisely hide my exceptional intelligence to throw off the masses of people who may become jealous and seek to destroy what they could never possible be.